MATCHMAKING BY PARENTS

This is a very old and traditional way of matchmaking where in those days the boys and girls married in their teens so it was considered appropriate that the parents choose the spouses instead of leaving the decision to the kids.

The institution of matchmaking, for centuries was done only by parents in most of the cultures, and it was believed to ensure stronger, happier marriages which also took the form of economic, social, and political alliances. But most of the western countries even before centuries were not for this kind of matchmaking because they believe these marriages restrict personal freedom. However this system is still very effectively followed in other parts of country especially in parts of the Middle East, Asia, and Africa.

A few decades back there were two concepts behind matchmaking one was matchmaking by love and the other one was by matchmaking by parents. Although both differ the relationship between in the after marriage life and husband-wife relationship, the principal differences lie in mate selection and social implications. This is more of a contract between parents on both the sides and not between the individuals. The matchmaking is done by parents on both the sides investigating the others family background. They will want to discover with certainty that the family is of the same class, is of comparable financial situation, is of good reputation, and has no major health complaints.

If things go well a mediator acts between both the families and reveals the interest of one family's child to the other. This go-between absorbs any criticism from the family, and also absorbs the praise, and gives the information back to the proposing family. Then the parents of both families begin to communicate and a meeting is set up for the prospective bride and grooms to actually meet. This meeting is where the decisions are made and the right matchmaking is done. Practically parents try to opt for a match where he/she has more IQ then the less practical but more sexually appealing mates preferred by their children. Also parents wait to get the match fixed at the right age for their children until they are old enough to have children.

Nowadays matchmaking by parents involves a negotiation between the parents of a bride or groom and the parents of multiple prospective spouses. From this the parents short list a few spouses who they think would be the right match for their children and give them their time to talk and know more about with each other. Finally from this short listed note the children choose for themselves, though it is from the list of parentally approved potential matches. But however if one party is not satisfied the idea of matchmaking is called off, for parents always wants to have a strong life-long partnership.

But some parents are really very matured enough in matchmaking for their children where they give mere introductions and encouragement and with their guidance let the choice of their matches taken by the children�s this system of matchmaking is an acceptable compromise between a love marriage, which is made entirely between the potential spouses, and a traditional arranged marriage, in which the parents are heavily involved.In places where matchmaking is done by the parents they consider matchmaking for their children as a sacred duty in matching their children with spouses in other countries, where they think their children have a better chance of success, or may try to marry into a more wealthy family.But the parents see to that they make matches which please their children and in course of time they get committed to each other and let their relationship grow stronger.Many supporters of this type of matchmaking done by the parents say that the divorce rate is lower for these types of marriages, and use this as evidence to support the practice.

There are also disadvantages in matches made by the parents where it is considered that the children are sold from one parent to another parent where each of the partners will have no idea of each other which will lead to lot of misconception.Above this the parents will have ulterior motives for somehow or the other matching you up with the other person.Such conditions might lead to breakup in future where the reputation of each other will be lustered off. So it is good that in such type of matchmaking having the family over with other families so you can naturally meet the other person.But finally it can be concluded though parents are more experienced and may therefore be better able to match a suitable spouse for their child, such matchmakings remains as good or bad as the people arranging it.So it all depends on the individual.